Decoy Cat's Have been Deployed

We've been beginning to see what I like to call an "urban sprawl" of decoy cats in the wild. The decoy cats were made by an anonymous company who had been affected negatively by the cats drastically low coupons. Having decoy cats allows this company to collect information directly from the horses (cat's) mouth. Some decoy cats have infiltrated the cat's inner circle posse and have been able to collect vital information from the cat. We can now say with certainty that the cat does not bathe. He/she will sometimes lick itself until it is "clean." Other vital facts include but are not limited to: the cat does not wear pajamas, he/she meows 10-20 times per day, he/she enjoys meow mix but only if a coupon was used to purchase it,  and the cat has been let out of the bag.