A day in the life of an agent...

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The following is obviously a plot of misinformation being distributed via email forwards from an un named agent of the Groupon cat. Please respond should you crack the code. Perhaps the third letter of every word, just the prepositions, we are unable to crack this Cat code but are scratching away at it feverishly. - TKAMC Team ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Day 983 of my captivity... My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.. For now...

Cat's Home Movie discovered at DiscoTec

J. A. Dingleberry, a subscriber of our blog and busboy at Que Lastima, a local discoTec in East Katmandu, discovered this video in the clubs dumpster on the evening of the 21st.

It is imperative we slink out this crafty cat before its too late. Discounts and coupons are the cats game although it appears he is now seeking out the assistance of the good people at the youtube to pedal his agenda of Kohls coupons, naps, and disenfranchised participation in yarn related games of follow the string, etc...