Ho Ho Horrible

The Cat has sunk to a new low to gain access to the homes of innocent humans so he can litter their kitchens with coupons. Our super secret spies have taken these photos of The Cat and his most trusted Sargent Cat trying on their newest disguises. Our trusted agents have discovered that The Cat's next plan is dress as the beloved Kris Kringle to enter human homes during the darkest hours of the night so that he may leave tempting coupons in their stockings; whether those stockings are hung by the chimney with care or strewn about the floor.

 

Please be careful while putting on your stockings, our dear followers, as we do not want you to get paper cuts on your toes from these dastardly delightful deals.

Unpleasant Surprise

Imagine my surprise and disgust when I went to drink my two mugs of coffee this morning and discovered not only had I been bugged/catted, but that The Cat had ruined my morning joe. I am sure this was some sort of plan to force me into using some sort of coupons to obtain coffee at a local coffee house. Little did The Cat know that I have a reserve of iced coffee drinks in my refrigerator.

Better luck next time, Cat.

Decoy Cat's Have been Deployed

We've been beginning to see what I like to call an "urban sprawl" of decoy cats in the wild. The decoy cats were made by an anonymous company who had been affected negatively by the cats drastically low coupons. Having decoy cats allows this company to collect information directly from the horses (cat's) mouth. Some decoy cats have infiltrated the cat's inner circle posse and have been able to collect vital information from the cat. We can now say with certainty that the cat does not bathe. He/she will sometimes lick itself until it is "clean." Other vital facts include but are not limited to: the cat does not wear pajamas, he/she meows 10-20 times per day, he/she enjoys meow mix but only if a coupon was used to purchase it,  and the cat has been let out of the bag.

The Cat, coupons, and burgers with cheese

The Groupon Cat has been toying with us, bouncing the stick with the feathers and baiting us with outlandish coupons the likes of which could only indicate more tough economic

times. We must be getting close to The Cat, his henchmen, and his handler the Questionable Man...

The above photo was sent by an unidentified sleeper agent in Katmandu to prove to the world that the Cat is still getting after it, hard.

Through our efforts and your continued support we have uncovered the extent of The Cats North American Operations.

The facts:

* The Cat is out of the bag

* The Questionable Man is The Cat's Handler, and possibly a Federal agent

* The Cat has a propensity for: brief naps, licking, pedaling coupons, pooping in the refrigerator, totting firearms, binge drinking, texting in Haiku, oxford commas, and writing training manuals for his henchmen in iambic pentameter.

* We've got what it takes to cook this cats fancy feast and put an end to his tyrannical hold on your spending habits.

Why should you care about what some frenzied feline does with his spare time?

You see friends, The Cat is getting more and more powerful with every coupon and every outlandish statement about $ 4.99 Stir Fry Sudanese and burgers with cheese.

Walk Hard friends, keep those catnip slingshots loaded

~Nefarious Norman

Cat and Questionable Man build Spaceship to torment dogs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--FyndryTFo&feature=channel

Apparently The Cat is now mobile. Crafting a spaceship, likely with the help of his handler the Questionable Man, he is now not only a menace to those of us who do not want his pretend coupons but also to Dogs everywhere.

Watch at your own will.

Godspeed,

~K. Walker

Is The Cat a Fed?

Well the dried up cat turds just hit the fan. The link between "The Cat" and the government just got clearer than a Cat's glass milk bowl. Apparently he appeared in this middle eastern flavored movie as a wise cracking, often napping, FBI agent. Friends... Romans... I have viewed this movie on Hulu everyday at sunset for the last 34 days and I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that this Cat character was not playing a role but pulling the wool over our eyes as he in-fact is an FBI agent.

I believe our operations with this blog may be compromised so I will be making my postings far less clear from this point on. No need to be so open, direct, and rational if we've got The Cat, his handler, or feline fanatics reading our posts.

Carry on with caution and with plenty of strings and fluffy balls in your pockets in case confronted by any of the Cat's henchcats.

Cat Going Strong in the Tour De France

Team Groupon has made themselves known this year with rookie Chance Catstrong on the Tour De France. We have reason to believe Catstrong is not his actual name but a cover to hide his true coupon "peddling" ways. Rumors are Catstrong has been using some form of steroid because Groupon has recently sold many coupons offering wildly discounted deals at GNC and Vitamin World. Also, there was a deal at sunglass hut as well as the local Schwinn dealer. Many think the only reason the cat is in the race is to win more coupons from other bikers. Also of note, a man with questionable taste was running along side Catstrong with a waterbottle. We will keep you updated as we hear more information.


Updated: We've been getting a lot of questions about the cat's paws, and how they can't reach the pedals of the bike. As we understand it, the cat was allowed to use a smaller set of pedals found under his seat. At first they were not going to allow this but after some enormous groupons (to blockbuster and Papa Murphy's) showed up in the pockets of the officials, the rules were able to be changed.